Ibland tappar jag fotfästet. Tappar tron på mig själv. Blir nojjig att jag inte är tillräckligt bra. Tillräckligt smart. Tillräckligt drivkraftig. Jag vill så mycket och jag vill ta chansen när den rätta tajmingen kommer. Och troligen är den på väg. Och då blir jag skakis. Jag vet att jag är bra. Jag är smart. Jag är drivkraftig när jag verkligen vill något. Jag är ju Madde! Och det är väl klart som fasiken att jag fixar det. Men ändå ibland… kommer känslan över mig.
Ibland vill jag bara få vara liten en stund.
Få en varm kram
Som nu….
Hej finaste!
I can totally understand that you get overhelmed by the assumtion of things happening around you at the moment and that you might worry about if you can manage all that at the same time!
There is the TV-show, the apartment, things you want to do in the future, us and everything around that topic, your skin (which might be a reaction to this mass of this happening) and many other things you are planning and dealing with….
The wonderful point is: You are not alone! You have got a wonderful familiy which is standing totally behind you, caring friends who support you and I try to do my best aswell……But the best part is: You are really strong on your own! You just should know that everybody has got his limits…..not just in a physical way, that doesnt matter, because there you dont know any limits
…..but even you have got a limited budget of energy. Energy you spend at least 100% on everyhing you do….You are not the kind of person who does things just half or even less you do it right and that is wonderful.What and how you do is simply amazing…. Just sometimes you can´t carry it all and you feel weak….
But for those cases you don´t feel strong enough you should know that no matter how deep you fall, no matter how bad you feel, no matter how alone you think you are……someone will catch you!!!
You are not alone.
You don´t need to take every challenge (even if I know you want to), you don´t always need to take care about everybody around you (those who expect it and take just energy from you without giving something back are most of the time not worth it anyway) and last but not least, you don´t need to do everything at the same time!!!!!
You can take each step on its own! Step by step by step by step…….Some of them you will take on your own, some of them you will be in someones company becaue you want to and for some of them wou will need help…..BUT: You will NEVER be alone!!!!
The last four monthes I felt the enormous strength of you inspiring me every day….You motivated me to do things I didnt do for years, gave me courage to start new things, make me exited about every day with and without you(in a physical way abaout distance), make me look different at many things, make me feel safe and calm, make me feel growig new motivation I missed for a long time…….Finally the best is that you make me really happy!
This energy you give not only to me has to come somewhere from; and I am afraid of you forgetting to refill your energy sometimes….you are so focused on the sake of others that you tend to forget about yourself.
The easy part to understand about that is: You can´t give what you don´t have without ruining yourself! So please promise me and everybody else who loves you:
Focus a bit more on you and your own sake!!!!
If you take yourself the time, you can reach everything! Just don´t rush into it and let the future show what it brings to you when you work for it without forgetting the major things in life!
You will do it! I have got not a single doubt about that!!!
Get well soon! I love you…..
Yours,
Christoph
Hey my one and only
Some days has passed sience you wrote this wonderful comment. There aren’t any word available to describe the enormous wisdom you have inside you, the great man you are in a young mans body. You are simply the best and I can’t be more happy than to take part in your life – especially as your girlfriend.
If I could say anything to reply in this, it would be THANK YOU. Thank you from my heart. It means the world to me and I am so thankful for what you write to me. You are the best man in the whole world!!!
And the rest I want to say you… I will say to you the night between 2th and 3th of November, when I will be in your arms again. <3
I love you!!
Känner igen mycket av det du skriver.. även om livet ibland känns som en rutten purjo så löser sig allt. Man blir starkare för varje motgång man övervinner ^^
Hoppas det vänder snart <3
Tack finaste tjejen, vad go du är som säger så! Ja jag hoppas också att det löser sig. Ibland behöver väl livet fortsätta en stund, tills insikten faller på plats.
Stor kram!